March 3, 2015
March 17, 2015


I’m an agreeable guy; positive and upbeat by nature. But sometimes, bad radio ad copy and foolish mistakes make my blood pressure rise like an hour spent in a small, windowless room with Lewis Black sputtering 90-decibel agitations. Share my rant and see if you don’t agree.

Take Your “Holiday Ads” Off the Air When the Holiday Ends. Come on. It’s March. Should we really be hearing commercials for a Presidents’ Day Sale weeks after Washington’s birthday? I hear these expired campaigns only occasionally on AM/FM stations, but all the time on Internet streams of AM/FM stations. These wasted advertising impressions are burning cash. Fire your agency for allowing this to happen and/or not catching it and/or not correcting it.

Stop Using Non-Words (unless they’re intentionally part of the pitch). Advertising creations like Scrumpdillyicious and Fahrvergnügen can work well to communicate a brand promise, challenging consumers to pay close attention and accidentally learn your brand benefits through the fun of a silly-sounding word. But when sloppy copywriters and advertising executives allow non-words like “courteousness” and “commentating” into your message, you communicate that you don’t even know the language well enough to use proper English. So why should I trust you to do whatever it is you want to convince me that you do and give you my money?

Retire Advertising Cliches! Using vapid phrases like “friendly, courteous salespeople” won’t convince us that you actually have them. “At the end of the day,” it’s night. No other combination of words – other than “It’s night” belongs at the end of that sentence. Speak to me! Don’t cut and paste someone else’s shortcut. Enjoy the brilliance of this short video to celebrate what a mess we’ve unleashed.
Every Terrible Ad Cliche in One Genius Video

Make it Easy to Remember You – I’m glad that you’d like everyone to visit Awesome New Computer Printer dot com back slash Model Number 755-J. But I’m never going to remember that. Sorry. Save the confusing details for AFTER you get me to the website, using a simple URL like “The J Printer dot com.” We’ll figure it out once you get us there.

I know this only a short slice of a long list of infractions. But hearing the Presidents’ Day Sale ad today made me a little crazy and inspired me to vent a little. Hopefully, you had an “Uh oh” moment reading points that inspires you to make your marketing message a bit more friendly.